Isaac
Years ago

Bill Simmons' Western Conf Preview

Western Conf Preview

Have only just started reading and I'm already laughing three paragraphs in:

Reason No. 12,804 why I love the NBA: Antoine Walker getting traded from a potential playoff team in sunny Miami to a potential 15-win team in freezing Minneapolis. Ouch. That might be the only sports trade with a chance to crack the "Levels of Losing" scale. The good news for Antoine was he had already packed on his extra winter weight.

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thedoctor  
Years ago

I particulary liked this one:

Reason No. 12,814 why I love the NBA: I took my daughter to the Cavs-Clippers game two weeks ago and she sat on my lap for the first three quarters. When Ruben Patterson entered the game, I found myself holding onto her even more tightly than usual. Let's make sure we add this to the next round of "Where Amazing Happens" commercials. "Where the chance to root for a registered sex offender happens."

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Bo Hamburger  
Years ago

Bill is unquestionably good value when he writes about the NBA in general like this - but is anyone else like me and over his 'I'm from Boston and all the Boston teams like the Celtics, Patriots and Red Sox are kicking everyone's arse, isn't it great, I was talking to my dad on the phone last night about KG..." etc schtick?

Parochial stuff he should be above - but things like his NBA preview make up for it IMO.

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Isaac  
Years ago

I don't mind it. I like the comments from his dad. Just emailed him (Bill) a few hours ago to see what he and his dad thought about Orien Greene while he was with the Celtics.

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Anonymous  
Years ago

How about poor old Theo Ratliff:

Reason No. 12,805 why I love the NBA: My ongoing quest to get ESPN.com to change Theo Ratliff's player card so it reads "Theo Ratliff's Expiring Contract" instead of "Theo Ratliff." Don't count me out. I might have the juice to pull this off.


Can you believe he is making $12 million a year, with career stats of 8ppg and 6 rpg.

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thedoctor  
Years ago

I don't mind the Boston stuff either. He writes as a fan, more so than an impartial commentator. I expect it when I read his stuff.

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Johnny Sack  
Years ago

#159514

Are you kidding??? The guy in his prime (which he was when he signed that contract) was Ben Wallace without the hype... Admittedly he wasn't as good a rebounder - but more polished offensively, a better blocker and shot changer, and (while still being putrid from the line) had a far better FT% than Big Ben... Perfectly beleivable... as far as i am concerned - and don't forget who gave him that contract - Paul Allen (remembers "Hip To Be Square" monologue from American Psycho - Classic... i'd put a YouTube link up for those who who haven't seen, but Issac might not like the graphic nature (family site) - so search yourselves...)...

"... HEY PAUL!!! AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!"

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Johnny Sack  
Years ago

Sorry Isaac...

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Bo Hamburger  
Years ago

Dunno, just doesn't do it for me after repeated doses, kind of like Boti whacking Goorj just because he can. He has plenty of talent and is really funny when he puts his mind to it - but IMO he's just mailing it in whenever he trots out the Boston stuff.

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Isaac  
Years ago

Bo, each dig just has a new flavour though!

Johnny, put a warning and then link away - American Psycho is a great book.

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Ben wallace will be the new theo ratliff in 2 years

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hustle  
Years ago

Here here ELG - if not already.

Waaaayyy over paid. Bulls bought the rep.

15 mill or whatever is way tooo much.

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Johnny Sack  
Years ago

Earlier mentioned American Psycho Clip - Christian Bale's greatest performance (after the "Machinist")... Hope the tag works...

NOTE: Very strong simulated violence (not suitable for kids) and a 1980's old-con extolling the virtues of Huey Lewis and the News... Not quite sure which is the greater evil...

YouTube Link

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Johnny Sack  
Years ago

YES!!! It worked!!!

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thedoctor  
Years ago

ELG's most sensible , balanced post ever. So true.

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