She was fifteen years old, going on thirty-five, Doc, and she told me she was eighteen, she was very willing, I practically had to take to sewing my pants shut. Between you and me, uh, she might have been fifteen, but when you get that little red beaver right up there in front of you, I don't think it's crazy at all and I don't think you do either. No man alive could resist that, and that's why I got into jail to begin with. And now they're telling me I'm crazy over here because I don't sit there like a goddamn vegetable. Don't make a bit of sense to me. If that's what's being crazy is, then I'm senseless, out of it, gone-down-the-road, wacko. But no more, no less, that's it.

Reply #190609 | Report this post

B Fresh
Years ago

"Some have great stories, pretty stories that take place at lakes with boats and friends and noodle salad. Just no one in this locker room. But, a lot of people, that's their story. Good times, noodle salad. What makes it so hard is not that you had it bad, but that you're that pissed that so many others had it good."

Reply #190647 | Report this post

Muffassa
Years ago

REDRUM

Reply #190667 | Report this post

Big Marty
Years ago

how about "This city needs an Enema, and I'm just the man to give it to them"

Reply #190712 | Report this post

speedy
Years ago

"you want the Truth .. you can't handle the TRUTH !!!"

Reply #190738 | Report this post

Pogo
Years ago

"You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on"
-- Homer Simpson

Reply #190749 | Report this post

Pogo
Years ago

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get!
-- Homer Simpson

Reply #190751 | Report this post

Rex Hunt
Years ago

You tried your best. You failed miserably. The lesson is never try.
-- Homer Simpson

Reply #190753 | Report this post

BarkoftheDog
Years ago

i didnt intend this to become a quotes thread.

people did get my joke right?
paul pierce = the truth = mvp?
u can't handle the truth?

i expected lols :(

Reply #190796 | Report this post