I don't beleive you should use the bench, first 5 as a pecking order, punishment type thing. It causes problems in that sometimes your talented kids will start ahead of the harder working kids or you may have 2 great specialist point guards but one is slightly better than the other, or you may want to bring your more versatile athletes off the bench. There's lots of reasons players don't start in good teams and it shouldn't be used as punishment or to create a pecking order.
I say do similar to what Jack suggests.
However, what he's saying about double standards is somewhat contradictory. So, Jack, you have to rockup on time; unless you have custody issues, school meetings etc. and whatever else you can come up with. Jack, this IS double standards and others will accuse you of this. How will other playes feel. Having said that I agree with you. Get to know the player, what makes them tick, waht their issues are AND MAKE THE DECISION YOURSELF.
Don't worry about this double standards bullsh*t make a values and moral judgement based around the individual. Coaches do the right thing morally all the time in these situations and are accused of double standards by those that are uniformed, lack moral fibre and have ZERO emotional intelligence.