Sparrow the Snake
Years ago

Famous One Liners From Coaches

My other post recently stated a line I heard a coach say. Wandering what other ones are out there. Heres a few I have heard from being around the basketball world.

- 2-3 Be a Tree
- Defensively make sure you are in their jockstraps
- We were like a pitball on a poodle tonight on D
- I saw him pitch a tent in the key way
- You get four years in other states for treatment like that
- You couldn't guard a brick wall


Anymore, please post.

Interesting to see what others are around

Topic #3443 | Report this topic


I wish i had coaches who brought out brilliant one-liners like that.

Wait no i don't, they sucked.

Reply #39609 | Report this post


SoSo  
Years ago

Catch the big round red thing please, its a basketball...

Reply #39660 | Report this post


S  
Years ago

You guys just keep pissing it right down your leg!!!

Reply #39694 | Report this post


Scooby Doo  
Years ago

I'm only going to say this once, Defence Defence Defence

D.Spear

Reply #39782 | Report this post


Anonymous  
Years ago

Rick Castle wrote the book on one liners...he has had some beauties!
One more memorable was when he heckled a player with 'you couldn't defend your own name'. Other ones frequented by Rick include 'shot shows opposite' 'Get up in their grill' and the reknowned shot blockers catch-cry 'EAT IT'.

Another coach once told the team during an impassioned time out speech that we drove a steak through his knife.

He meant stake through his heart.




Reply #39784 | Report this post


Sledgehammer  
Years ago

Paul Bell is the king of one-liners as long as you can handle him repeating them. The best I have heard from him was to a ref where he said, "Mate you need a snorkel cos you're out of your depth!"

Reply #39790 | Report this post


Anonymous  
Years ago

Liam Flynn, kicks out one liners more than anyone, he would average one a timeout probably. if only i could remember some. lol EAT-IT is the new Sturt catch phrase pretty much.

Reply #39862 | Report this post


thedoctor  
Years ago

A certain coach at West called a time out and said

"Right, we are going into a 2-3-2 trap."

Reply #39878 | Report this post


Lloyd Braun  
Years ago

graham "bomber" kubank

we gotta nut up!

Reply #39880 | Report this post


Anonymous  
Years ago

"We've got a team of great outside shooters, only problem is we play indoors".

Reply #39888 | Report this post


Panther  
Years ago

What about Belly's comment to a ref, "you could at least buy me a drink first before you bend me over and...."

(Due to recent politicians protests, this comment was edited for kids)

Reply #39891 | Report this post


Kym Taylor  
Years ago

Panther... Mate I see you trying plenty of one liners on a Saturday night?? Some of these could be modified and used in your assault of the phillies??

Reply #39907 | Report this post


Northerner  
Years ago

Back when I was at North, we played Al in resies, and my team mate was at the line and missed his first shot. Another team mate lining up went up to him and said "next one mate" (or something along the lines of that), to which Al said
"What, are you going to suck his d*%k next?"

And, I think from the same game, Al and Dallas Quigley were going at it and Dal got subbed out. Al walked over to the bench and asked him what he was thinking about. Dal had this blank look on his face, and Al said "I'm thinking about breaking your FACE". When Dal told us this after the game we lost it.

Reply #39962 | Report this post


if you have ever had mark davis as a coach you will know all about his one liners which never really made much sense but provided some humour in the locker room.

"that's a tough loss to lose"
"i'm not gonna stand here and shit in your pockets"

they are just a couple from the vault. he also had a great story about a tiger but no-one has even remotely enough time to read about it, its just for those who were there on the night.

Reply #39963 | Report this post


Sturty6ers  
Years ago

What about....

-Hey Ref, can I be ejected for what I think? No, I think you are a c***.
-There is no glory in Defence, only victory.
-Defence, what defence can't guard a tree.

Reply #39967 | Report this post


Sturty6ers  
Years ago

That is meant to say....

Defence, what defence, he/she can't guard a tree.

Reply #39969 | Report this post


Anonymous  
Years ago

i remember a sturt coach coaching his girls at districts, and Matt Grace the ref was calling rubbish, the coach got a tad upset with him followed by Matt threatening a tech. coach told him something about his refereeing being just as ugly as his face and that he didnt need to be given a tech, he will just eject himself. was humourous at the time

Reply #39981 | Report this post


Anonymous  
Years ago

"Come on guys we are still in the contest." or "Come on guys lets make stops the key to winning this game is defence and offense will sought out itself."

Reply #40000 | Report this post


Anonymous  
Years ago

My uncle pete is renowned for being "vocal" at any sporting matches - anyway to cut a long story short he got ejected from the old st ives a while back for saying to a female ref "you're as ugly as you are stupid". At the tribunal...the head official asked him to step out into the stadium and point out what umpire he was referring to. Once he pointed to her - the head official simple said "I see...well I think we will drop the case"

Reply #40042 | Report this post


MMango  
Years ago

Umpire to coach" Please coach can you ask your bench to keep it quite?"

Coach to umpire" starting umpiring better and give us nothing to yell about!!!!"

Reply #40046 | Report this post


Anonymous  
Years ago

Coach to player before game - "you've got Olbrich"

Player - "he doesnt play for NOrwood anymore"

Coach - "Oh doesnt he? OK then.....pick em up as they come then"

Reply #40048 | Report this post


Anonymous  
Years ago

"I dont want to emphasize this game too much but I cant emphasize it enough"

Reply #40051 | Report this post


Skyhook  
Years ago

MMango ...

Which Mango brother are you ? What is Moshe doing these days ?

Reply #40074 | Report this post


MMango  
Years ago

I'm Micah the less skilled of the bunch.
Moshe he's living over in the states , last I heard he was studying criminal psychology and becoming a police officer.
Unfortunately he made a bad choice of community college and just couldn't get it together. Now he just working on getting a decent job.

Reply #40079 | Report this post


Panther  
Years ago

What about..."...and Pecker, what the hell are you doing out there?" Peck..."I haven't been on yet coach!"

Reply #40084 | Report this post


thedoctor  
Years ago

Niel Gliddon to a certain u/16 State player a few years ago.

"You've been terrible out there. What the hell are you doing?"

Player "I haven't even been on..."

Reply #40087 | Report this post


Bulldog  
Years ago

Playing div 3 men for Forestville at Hillcrest one night, our inspirational coach had obviously been watching too much TV or was just a big fan of Maccas. With our season on the line he pointed to the opposition and quoted a Maccas commercial: "Thos guys stole our fries!"

Needless to say, we got our fries back and won the game!

Reply #40094 | Report this post


undersized pf  
Years ago

i dunno about comedic one liners but as far as big lines in games

"Stay tough, Stay tough, thats what its all about" - Pat Riley

not quick witted just the truth

Reply #40164 | Report this post


"I've hit maccas harder then that" after a charge call at the dome

Reply #40204 | Report this post


Anonymous  
Years ago

(My uncle pete is renowned for being "vocal" at any sporting matches - anyway to cut a long story short he got ejected from the old st ives a while back for saying to a female ref "you're as ugly as you are stupid". At the tribunal...the head official asked him to step out into the stadium and point out what umpire he was referring to. Once he pointed to her - the head official simple said "I see...well I think we will drop the case")

hate to ruin a good story but the reporting referee would give their case at the tribunal so the ref in question would already have been there and not needed to be pointed out

Reply #42901 | Report this post


Anonymous  
Years ago

A very well known SA Junior & Senior coach reamed out his team for losing after one game about how they should have never have lost etc etc.

After about 5 mins of this one of his players quietly informed the coach that they had infact won by 2 pts. To which the coach replied "oh. ok well done" with a shry grin.

Reply #42902 | Report this post


Doddobird  
Years ago

For more than 28 years, NBA teams have relied on Marty Blake, the NBA's director of scouting services, to find the answers. NBA general managers enjoy Blake's honest assessments of players, including, "He's a seven-footer with one notable attribute: He's alive!" and, "He's a three-point shooter, not necessarily a three-point maker."

Reply #42939 | Report this post




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