Isaac
Years ago

I just had a stupid idea

(Not the first. Won't be the last.)

What would happen in a hypothetical league where points scored were multiplied by the age of the player scoring them? What might a typical scoreline be? 4-6,000ish each? Where would the balance fall between experience and shooting ability versus fading athleticism?

If it were restricted to people living in Australia (ex-NBL generally), which players would probably dominate?

Would you keep a gun 80-year-old shooter on the bench for late-game buckets? Or a relatively sprightly 40 year old who could terrorise on D and get breakaway layups?

I'm imagining a scenario where the league is full of 50-70 year old ex-NBL players, but the commentators are instead 15 year old pre-ABL punks laughing at the failed dunks and knee braces.

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Manu Fieldel  
Years ago

You obviously mean multiplied by the age of the person scoring them?

Good thought. You'd want your older guys to be bigs. Easier to score when you're an immobile big rather than an immobile small.

90-year-old Boban Marjanovic could be your trump card in a championship season.

We'll have inhabited different planets by then and the sport 'Moonball' and it's intergalactic league would have been invented and probably have surpassed basketball

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alexkrad  
Years ago

Found Shane Heal's alt account

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Isaac  
Years ago

Yep. Updated post.

I'm guessing that at the very least, guys like Shane Heal (47 yo) who are in reasonable shape and could still shoot, would be the baseline. Lanard Copeland is 52 - probably still handy. Phil Smyth at 59?

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Isaac  
Years ago

Shit. Busted.

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Double Clutch  
Years ago

I love this idea Isaac. Can't wait for a team to be down 230 with 5 seconds left and have to roll out five 80 year old guys to take that last second shot.

This sounds silly enough to work.

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KingPodge  
Years ago

Bill Russell get's 70 points for a layup in the first minute. Spends the rest of the game sitting in the middle of the court talking about the old days, as his team plays 4 man defense only for 48 minutes.

I'd buy a ticket just to see Bill wear a jersey again.

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Manu Fieldel  
Years ago

Who's he talking to if his teammates are all playing defence?

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Double Clutch  
Years ago

Bill Russell scoring break-down (current age 83 years old):

Free-throw: 83 points
Lay-up: 166 points
3PA: 249 points
Four-point play: 332 points

Not sure how he only manages to score 70 in any of the above scenarios.

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Manu Fieldel  
Years ago

He's got the rings and the 300ppg. GOAT debate settled right here

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Isaac  
Years ago

You will all be surprised to hear that I'm yet to get any licensing enquiries to make this league a reality.

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Anonymous  
Years ago

Old Men Can't Jump.

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Double Clutch  
Years ago

I can see you are building a big competitive advantage for yourself Isaac in 1 on 1 basketball with your son in a few years time.

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Kingpodge  
Years ago

Double Clutch - maff don't matter bruh

Manu - he's 83, he doesn't need anyone to actually talk too!

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Big Ads  
Years ago

He'd be chatting with Joey Crawford after t'd up for a delay of game warning.

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Anonymous  
Years ago

Sneak Uncle Drew in *cough* *cough*

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Bear  
Years ago

Bored Isaac?

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Fool  
Years ago

Will this be on fta?

Also. Are membership prices based on age aswell.

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UseTaHoop  
Years ago

But...

Would pre- 3 point line era players be eligible for 3 point shots? If not, there would be a certain age cut-off. That could make it really complicated. Who were veterans already when the NBL first introduced the 3 point line? They'd get maximum value.

Player A did play with 3 point line in place. He’s 60 years old, so a trey from him scores 180 for his team

Player B didn’t play with 3 point line in place. He’s also 60 years old. Identical shot worth 120 for his team.

You could get some real high Scoring, but slow paced games.

I’d want a coaching staff member who’s coached wheelchair basketball, they already have to calculate points values for combos on the floor.

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Isaac  
Years ago

What if a scoring shot was assigned points based on the cumulative age of your team on court at that time? That could be a spin-off league for the spin-off league.

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Double Clutch  
Years ago

So find 4 100 year olds to sit who can throw a pass to a 7 foot 80 year old for sky-hooks? 480 points every time.

I have already started recruiting out of nursing homes for this coming break-away league. I need these chess pieces on my bench.

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UseTaHoop  
Years ago

Spin-off of a spin-off. Spin squared?

The possibilities are endless.

DC's idea of recruiting is a great idea. It ticks a lot of boxes in modern aged-care philosophies by our elders in valued community activities.

More fun than some NBL games.

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