Most referees do try and communicate with players and coaches, and from a referee's perspective there are many times when asked what the call was about, we respond with what we believed happened yet the response we get back is usually negative, ie 'bullshit', or 'what were you watching'. After repeated occurances referee's then think to themselves, 'why bother explaining when we will just cop crap'. Each game is different and each person is different but this thought process still operates. Its all known as operant conditioning :D.
As referee's we expect to cop crap, and be singled out for a teams misfortunes. Its part of the job, and its always, ALWAYS going to happen. I agree with 'biasbinding' "dont like it dont ref". If you cant stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. We get paid to referee, and although abuse does become inappropriate on occasions, a good referee learns to cope with, and deal with misbehaviour appropriatly.
The problem lies with referee's becoming indecisive in what deserves a 'T', or action. For instance i follow by, if a coach of player swears and yells at me when arguing a call, audible enough for others to hear that warrants a 'T'. 'T' warnings only furthur create indecision in what warrants a tech.
If players and spectators do not want to listen to what a referee has to say, or is telling them about the game and their behaviour, expect that they shall continue recieveing fouls, and if the behaviour is bad enough Technical Fouls. Referees run the game and basically decide what is, and what isnt inside the rules, and yes it is considered a good game when we go un-noticed, but what everyone has to realise is that the referee holds the whistle. I dont want to sound like referees have a power trip, but they do control the game.
So next time a referee replies to your question, or informs you to 'keep your hands out', listen to them, and you will find the fortune will swing your way as you are listening to what the referee's are calling.