Beantown
Years ago

Classic Quotes

Just spotted this gem from Portland PG Steve Blake in the Oregonian:

"If I can dribble with my eyes closed, then I can see my teammates better," Blake says. "I can see the instant they become open."

linky.com.au/1a6d1

Great stuff Steve, I can tell you're going to have a successful season!

Anyone else got some classic quotes?

An old favourite of mine was a young Shaquille O'Neal doing an anti-drugs message:

"Remember kids, you got to stay in school, stay on drugs"

(Okay, I'm paraphrasing, but couldn't be bothered trying to find the exact quote)

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DB5  
Years ago

Chink in the armour was pretty funny the other day, describing an Asian...

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Quagmire  
Years ago

Ultimate was big Daryl Eastlake (?) mentioning how he had;

"seen the female Bulgarian weightlifters snatch earlier in the morning, and it was spectacular"

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Beantown  
Years ago

Classic, Quagmire, I knew I could rely on you for a good quote!

DB5, where was this Chink in the armour comment?

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Beantown  
Years ago

I always liked this Daryl Eastlake 'quote':

"Pearce off Jack, Gibbs on"

He copped it for that one!

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Cat 15  
Years ago

SHAQ:
"Everythings just money, money, money. All I want to do is play basketball, drink Pepsi and wear Reebok"

Ah, the Big Aristotle! :)

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Mantis  
Years ago

I can't remember the player or team, but an underachieving NBA player was traded, then a few years later he had improved and was traded back to his original team. The coach said:

"When we traded him away he had a bad attitude and was lazy, but he has changed and now has done a complete 360 from where he was."

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DB5  
Years ago

Beantown, ch 7 coverage of the 2008 advertisments.

They interrupted an ad to show some gymnastics.

Aussie commentator said it, was pretty funny..


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Uwe Blab  
Years ago

"I can shoot with my left hand, I can shoot with my right hand, I'm amphibious."

- Charles Shackleford

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SVD  
Years ago

Mantis that was Jason Kidd

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Mutley  
Years ago

Stacey King walks into the Bulls lockeroom carrying a box and Jordan says loudly "I hope there's a jumpshot in there".

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Anonymous  
Years ago

Larry Bird GOLD:

During the three-point shooting contest on All-Star Weekend 1986, Bird entered the locker room, looked around without saying a word, then finally said, "I'm just looking around to see who's gonna finish up second". He won the shooting contest.

During one game on Christmas Day against the Indiana Pacers, before the game Bird told Chuck Person that he would give him a Christmas present. During the game, when Person was on the bench, Bird shot a three-pointer on the baseline right in front of Person. Immediately after the shot, Bird said to Person, "Merry (insert expletive here) Christmas!", and then the shot went in.

Reggie Miller tried to disrupt Larry's concentration when he was shooting free throws late in a game. Larry glared at him, made the first free throw and said, "Rook, I am the best shooter in the league. In the league, understand? And you're up here trying to tell me something?" Then Larry buried the second free throw.

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DB5  
Years ago

Ian Botham walks out to bat in an Ashes test.
Rod Marsh begins with "Hey Ian, how's your wife and my kids?"

Botham replies " My wife's fine, your kids are retarded."

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DICKO  
Years ago

James Ormond, who himself would admit that he's not the world's best bestman, came in after for England after the Aussies had taken another Ashes wicket, to which Mark Waugh commented:

"F**k me, look who it is... Mate, what are you doing out here? There's no way you're good enough to play for England."

And Ormond didn't miss a beat, retorting:

"I may not be the best batsman in England, but at least I'm the best in my own family"

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DB5  
Years ago

Ian Healy to Ranatunga when the latter called for a runner..

" You don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat #$nt".

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Quagmire  
Years ago

Just watching some Rasheed highlights on youtube, caught one of him complaining after a foul called against him on our Bogut.

Bogut goes to the line, misses the first, Rasheed screams- "Ball don't lie man"

Bogut misses the second even worse.

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Anonymous  
Years ago

A classic from Mr Richie Benaud

"He's usually a good puller - but he couldn't get it up that time"

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Skin  
Years ago

I like when Boston were playing someone (think pistons??) and he went to the other teams bench that he was gonna get the ball and and shoot the ball from the elbow and win the game.

He did..

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Beantown  
Years ago

Thanks for the laughs guys. DB5, did Marsh's wife dump him for Botham? Harsh comment from Botham if that's the case!

A few more to finish up with:

"One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee-shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them - Oh my God, what have I just said?"
- Female commentator from US Open

"They've picked their heads up off the ground and they now have a lot to carry on their shoulders."
- Ron Atkinson, the very quotable former EPL football manager

"If you'd offered me a 69 at the start this morning I'd have been all over you."
- Sam Torrance, Golfer

"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on."
- Winston Churchill



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DB5  
Years ago

Nah, just cricket banter. I think everyone says that line!




Malcolm Marshall bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a few times..

"Now David, are you going to get out now, or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"

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Keefy  
Years ago

Another old cricket one. Viv Richards comes out to bat one day in a game in England with his usual swagger.

Plays and misses at the first ball - bowler gives him the glare and says - Didn't you see that one, i'll give you a hint, it's round.

Plays and misses at the 2nd ball - bowler gives him another glare - Didn't you see that one either, i'll give you another hint, not only is it round, it's also red.

Plays and misses at the 3rd ball - give you another hint, not only is it round and red, it's got this white stitching around it (bowler holds up ball to show him)

Fourth ball of the over, Richards smashes it out of the ground, walks down the pitch to do some gardening and looks up at the bowler and says - Well you know what the bloody thing looks like, Now go and fetch it.

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Keefy  
Years ago

'Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing- but none of them serious.'
(Alan Minter - boxer.)

'Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew.'
(Harry Carpenter - BBC TV Boat Race 1977.)

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Oden08  
Years ago

A couple of cricket classics:

Maindad to Merv Hughes: "you should be driving a bus your so fat"
Merv clean bowls Maindad an over or so later
Merv runs down the wicket yelling "tickets please"

Another (supposed) Merv one:
Annoyed at the way a batsmen (name?) was smashing him, Merv backed out of his next delivery, followed through right near this batsman, let of one of the biggest farts ever and said to him "try hitting that for six"


Shane Warne to Darryl Cullinan-"ive been waiting 2 years for you"
Cullinan retorts"looks like you spent most of it eating"
Warne gets him with yet another flipper a couple of overs later.

Also Michael Holding whilst commentating at the SCG:
"Brian Lara named his daughter Sydney, after the ground where he made his first test hundred. Thank goodness he didn't make it in Lahore."

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Keefy  
Years ago

Another cricket one by an English Commentator

The batmen's Holding, the bowlers Willy.

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DB5  
Years ago

"The finger goes up, the umpire's Hughass".




Billy Brownless aka The 12th Man.

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Quagmire  
Years ago

Some rugby union commentator;

"The first thing your told as a young player- if you see your team-mate on the ground, go down on him."

I knew those union guys were odd....

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Anonymous  
Years ago

Billy Birmingham you idoit...

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SKUX101  
Years ago

Classic Quote from a rugby player after the game:

"We scored the game-winning try with 5 minutes to go, but they then scored right on the final whistle"\

It was something like that. LOL

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Sturty6ers  
Years ago

Bahahahahaha Billy Brownless. 12th man.

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rotate on this  
Years ago

A subtle one but made me laugh . Andrew Gaze last night during the Argentina vs Greece match was trying to keep up with Basil Z's fine efforts in naming the greek players . IN GAZE OCKER
" That is definitely not one of my strong points , the pronounciation of these names .

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DB5  
Years ago

hahaha, sorry. Cannot believe I didn't notice that..

haha

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