lack of respect
Years ago

PPS (pushy parent syndrome)

I guess forever this has been a problem and it still is. I wonder whether sometimes it effects the kids due to the bad parents. I know it shouldn't but it does no good for anybody. Any thoughts on how it could be handled from maybe a coaches perpective? and not have affect on the child who is innocent?

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anon  
Years ago

Remind the parent that it is a big world out there and to remember it is a junior game of basketball and it is for the child benefit.

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.  
Years ago

absolutely affects the kids and everyones relationships.

they have always been around and will continue - just like the non pushy parents.

basketball isn't as bad as some other activities -

I'm a strong believer in karma - I have seen some kids quit first chance if they have been pushed too much.

But it is a balance - if you don't push sometimes nothing happens - but nobody wants ugly.




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.  
Years ago

also - coach can only control what happens at training and game time - after all they are the parents of the child.

Speak with parents and talk about a third party - i.e. "xxxxxxxxxxx" was an outstanding basketballer and i remember their parents used to be positive and sat quietly at games, they never pushed and their child really succeeded etc etc.

If they have any IQ the penny will drop.

pray for some commonsense as well.

Know the personalities of the people you are dealing with - and whether you have any chance of making some inroads - are they are out of control ? and if they are affecting more than their own.



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Anonymous  
Years ago

It's how the club reacts. Some clubs are much better than others at this.

Some cave to parents that makes the problem grow.

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Mystro  
Years ago

get Trevor Gleeson involved, he's really great at dealing with people

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Former Parent  
Years ago

My kids are out of basketball now, but I have found that PPS is not as bad a DCS (dumb coach syndrome).

It's natural that parents think their kids are exceptional. Parents are there to give their kids the best they can, so of course they will promote their kids as much as they can. I have seen parents volunteer as Team Manager just so their child gets a Div 1 spot. That's the more overt PP way, others have a more covert way of sucking in dumb coaches. The issue is when the gap between the child's ability and expectations widens.

DCS is when a coach, or coaching director, writes players off, or "hangs their hat" on a kid whose ability is not there, will never be there and they are selected based on the wrong factors. "The next best thing" “They’re gunna be masisve” I have seen too many dumb decisions made by dumb coaches based on bias and perception. Idiotic feedback to children like “I don’t rate you” designed to get them to “prove me wrong” in fact does not inspire children. It just drives them away. Pathetic outbursts to a team after a tough game stating “you’re the worst team at this club” is a put down that does not motivate that team to continue working hard. A good example of DCS is a coach telling an U14 girl she is “too fat”.

One cancer at a club is player turnover. Each time a player leaves it actually means more effort by coaches to train those new players into the plays and expectations. Dumb coaches create player turnover through a lack of interpersonal skills, favouritism, and an inability to motivate those players. Dumb coaches are looking for “The next best thing” without realising they are the ones who need to put the effort into creating the next best thing. Smart coaches look for the switch in children, dumb coaches look for the easy solution.

In life, we all have to deal with difficult people. “Pushy” parents are just one example of difficult people, but difficult people can be managed. Dumb coaches on the other hand damage a club more than any “pushy” parent can.

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Anonymous  
Years ago

Pushy parents exist, unfortunately,in every sport, as part of my job I frequently deal with PPs and their children are either embarrassed or have an inflated sense of entitlement, the latter being some of the most offensive brats I have come across. Teach your children humility and sportsmanship, if they are genuinely talented then these qualities will only make them more desirable in State etc, who wants some high maintenance prima donna and the baggage that comes along with them. To all you parents, if you suspect you are a PP then take a good hard look at your self and your kids, and I'd not be surprised to see a corre;ation between PP's and the number of different clubs your kids have played at.

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Anonymous  
Years ago

I think it's safe to assume that:
Former Parent = pushy parent

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Anonymous  
Years ago

I think it's safe to assume that:
Anon 388 = dumb coach

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Anonymous  
Years ago

Well said Former Parent.

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Anonymous  
Years ago

One issue that needs to be discussed is player turnover.
Player turnover is a real problem at some clubs. Whenever we play Forestville or Sturt, you basically know who will be in what teams before the night. That must be a real advantage to them to know you can keep a group together. They develop well and just know each other's game.

At some clubs you see teams that are entirely different from one season to another.

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Anonymous  
Years ago

The dilemma for clubs can be deciding between keeping talented youngsters together for many years or separating them to help more teams win.

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Jack Toft  
Years ago

Lack of Respect,
It sounds like you have a specific issue that you are trying to deal with and manage. I suspect that you have had a parent come to you with one or more of these "issues" relating to their child.

1. Why isn't my child in the starting 5?
2. Why isn't my child getting more court time?
3. Why isn't my child playing in a higher grade?
4. Why don't you tell the rest of your team to pass to my child?

The other types of "issues" coaches face seem to revolve around success factors, or coaching style. "why don't you teach our children this play?" I presume you are coaching to your Club's Coaching Director/Head Coach's style requirements, so sometimes the best way to manage stakeholders who question your coaching ability or style is to explain that you are running the official club plays and perhaps if they consider them to be the wrong style, they should provide feedback direct to the JDO or CD.

Like someone said above, we all have to deal with people with whom we find difficult. These "difficult" people usually have a few styles of negotiation which needs a slightly different approach to manage, but they are all manageable. eg "The Sherman Tank" They go in like a tank and try to steamroll all in their path. "The Sniper" who takes cheap shots from the sidelines, but are nice as pie to your face. "The Bomb" They go off, rant and rave, then calm down. "The Snake" They sew the seeds of deception, run down others that are threats to them, flutter their eyelids like they are all sweat and innocent to sucker you in.


What exactly is the issue at hand that is troubling you? What style of negotiation is this "pushy parent" using to try to get their way?

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Anonymous  
Years ago

former parent nailed it..

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