Questions for Manute

Dear Manute,
I was just having a look at your roster for the current SNBL summer season draw. I realise you play two summer seasons as there is no winter, but seeing as though you have the local derby between your team, the South East Sudan Magic and the South Sudan Fire Engines next week, I thought I'd scrutinise the team list a little further.

With the formidable line up of:
Manute Bol
Isat Onhumphrey
Wearis DeCleet - was ignored again last game
Deedja Popoff - Import
Whobraw D'esky
Iva Biggun
Showzya Teets - Showcase player
Coco Nutsyum
Cam Elsavumps
John Smith - Hope I've spelt that right.

With that I have the Following questions :

A. How is it that you are able to fit all these players of high calibre under the current salary cap restrictions?

B. Seeing as though your current coach Philglick Jacksonglock is after a 17 sheep a year pay increase next year, is it true that you have approached current Flames coaches, Mutumbo Webb and Gerald Giraffe, to replace him next year?

C. Is it true that you have approached Coach Jacksonglock and told him you'd prefer to spend more time in the point this season?

Your honesty in reply would be greatly appreciated.

Topic #3051 | Report this topic

Liam Flynn
Years ago

I heard a nasty rumour that the much maligned Sheez Arrlezzo has been released by the team and has signed with the Mt Kinyeti Pioneers for the coming SBL season.

Also could you clarify if your import, Myhairi Bak, has demanded a thatched hut on top of a 60 Sudanese Dinar increase to play with the Magic next season. Manute, please answer ASAP - the people of Khartoum are debating whether to renew their season tickets for next season (if we renew before the "early bird" deadline we become official Sudanese Citizens and recieve an authentic Sudanese war dress).

(Mod: Ahhh, Manute Bol, the Patron Saint of Hoops SA.)

Reply #34917 | Report this post

Manute Bol
Years ago

Post coital cigarette,

A) What salary cap? We don't pay cash at our club. We give all our players a internet fridge so they can view Hoops SA. It comes in really handy, I even spotted this post on my fridge after getting some ice cream.

B) Unfortunately, we will part ways with our current coach and at the end of the season. We will be pursuing one of our up and coming junior coaches Always Crackenbars.

C) Yes. We don't have any leaders in our team. So after our last loss I said "Shit coach, Showzya Teets is all about flare and isn't a point guards A-hole" (Sorry about the language kids, I just hate losing!)

PCC, where are you getting all your info?

Liam,

Sheez Arrlezzo will not be released from the club. He's currently on the injury reserve list with a mouth injury. He's a good bloke and very handy to have around the club.

We've had a bit of trouble with Myhairi Bak's agent. It's getting messy at the moment. If he thinks he's getting the Hut he's dreaming! It's the internet fridge or nothing.

My advice to the fans is get in quick and buy your season tickets ASAP. As long as I'm on the team the exciting style of play will continue. What else are you going to do on a Saturday night? Dance around that boring camp fire and sing Lionel Richie songs all night. (Ooh...I'm dancing on the ceiling!!)

Liam, are you going stop off and visit Sudan on your way to America next year? If so, I can hook you up with some sweet chicks man!!

Peace

Manute

Reply #35001 | Report this post

Manute Bol
Years ago

Isaac,

I thought that my last post deserved a basketball icon. Don't you think I'm funny anymore?

(Mod : Happy now?! No one wants to see an unhappy Manute!)

(Other Mod: It's funny, but after a while it just melds into one gangly dream and there are only so many basketballs a mod has time to dish out. What about a weekly episode about life on the hard dirt courts of Sudan? I'm imagining a title like "What's Hot/What's Also Hot")

Reply #35013 | Report this post

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