Years ago

Best referee lines

What's the best or funniest line you’ve heard from a referee?

I recall a ref being repeatedly asked by a coach, "How long?" when said coach was looking for a 3 sec call.

Ref responded by looking inside his pants and answering, “about 10 inches.”

Another game the team on D was calling low (and high) cuts. Ref joined in, singing “Swing low, sweet chariot...”

Lines like these show good communication skills. Always a good sign in a ref in any sport.

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Years ago

I coached in a game where a player complained about a call and the ref told him not to act like a dickhead.

Player complained to me and I told him to do as he ref told him.

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Big Ads  
Years ago

6'10 teammate took a knee to the genitals while trying to take a charge on a lay-up

"High tackle, play on, advantage"

Teammate was out of position, moving when contact occurred and never going to get the charge call

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Years ago

Thats not even funny. I would like to say thanks for sharing but I can't.

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Years ago

Nothing beats Rugby referee Nigel Owens' one liners!

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Years ago

Was playing in a reserves game once and the opposition kept pinching me on the arm. Showed the ref the bruises, could tell he didn't like it either but said he couldn't see the pinches. Next quarter on a fast break gave the puncher a punch to the guts behind play and he went down. When he complained to the ref he came back with, "Couldn't see that either like you pinching him"

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Years ago

How long? 2.9 recurring...

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Years ago

Best one yet is was during a ABL game referee called a very quick 3 seconds. Coach stands up and say if u call that 3 second then no wonder you wife is unhappy, just loud enough for the referee to hear.

Referee called a tech while laughing and still one of the referee's favourite stories to tell.... everytime you see him. :p

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Years ago

I think the vast majority are bad referee jokes that just aren't funny, ref at starplex Friday nights is the unfunniest human I have ever met. Thinks he's Seinfeld. Biggest jokes are his calls

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Years ago

Ref was a bit aroused by a good looking bloke on the court was he?

Anyway a couple of lines from refs which aren't funny but just don't know the rules.

In a big v game a few years ago player from my team took his second free throw, was bouncing on the ring guy from the other team tried to knock it away but instead knocked it in the basket, I straight away said to the ref that's 2 points isn't it and he replied just be happy it went in.

Second one, loose ball on the floor guy dives into player standing upright takes out his legs and my teammate falls over lucky not to have broken his leg. Play on was the call, I said to the ref that's a free kick in footy and he replied with this isn't footy.
Like basketball is so much tougher than basketball

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Years ago

So much tougher than footy

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Three to make two  
Years ago

At the Snakepit (the original), in a game being reffed by ex-Hawk Kevin Marsh. Hawks player on a fastbreak. Some pretty minor contact by opposing player trying to stop fastbreak but, never-the-less contact, crowd go up. Hawks score unopposed layup but still some complaints to Marsh as he ran back down court. These people would know Marshy.

His response: "Lay-up or sideball"!

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