Anon
Years ago
How does one deal with a parent coach that consistently gives opportunity to his own child at the expense of other players that play better?
This obviously only impacts players that play the same position as the child.
Isaac
Years ago
I was going to suggest changing team/club as well. Seems harsh, but if it's unlikely to change after a season, and it seriously frustrates you, I don't know that you can change the situation unless you change the actual situation and leave.
Can't see that broaching it with the coach or the club is realistically going to do much.
Anon
Years ago
Thanks everyone for the advice. We are following it and leaving a club after 4 years. The coach has come across from another club - sad :-(
Always hated parent coaches, its one thing if the son is actually good, but
Speaks a fair bit about the coach if he can't even make his own son any good
Jack Toft
Years ago
There's a very good reason why districts clubs don't let parents coach their own kids. They either do what you have described, or go the opposite and go harder on them. Either way, not a good situation.
Like mr.404 said, if the son isnt any good, it speaks about the coach's ability(or lack of), and people can see that
Duke Fan
Years ago
If a club is dumb enough to bring a a player/parent coach from elsewhere as a package, you're better off elsewhere
Todd
Years ago
Parent/Coach isn't ideal but sometimes clubs don't have enough coaches.
If your kids is getting a good coaching or the coach is only there for a season, then stay.
Teach your kid to work through unfairness with hard work and resilience.
Chewie
Years ago
Such a subjective thread. Junior coaches tend to play kids that follow instructions. There are numerous reasons why coaches dish out minutes which don't appear correct from the sidelines....
Kid looks great but shoots it every time they touch it
Kid doesn't play defence
Doesn't follow the offence
Hasn't attended training sessions
Etc
The follow ups of district teams not allowing parents to coach their kids must be an eastern coast statement. If parents didn't coach their kids teams in SA, there wouldn't be a competition.
Anon
Years ago
To Chewie,
In this case the coaches child is given playing and. development preference over players that are better defensive players, shoot better, fouls less (much less) attends all trainings, arrives early to games and trainings, understands and executed plays as well as has an impeccable attitude and sportsmanship. Another club is giving the player the oppertunity to play :-)
Anon
You don't know that for sure. All we have is one side of the argument. The Coach or Club hasn't posted their point of view.
To assume all the points raised by the parent of the child supposedly being mis-treated or missing out in favour of a coach's child are 100% accurate is extremely biased and unfair. Which is exactly what the coach is being accused of. Quite hypocritical really.
Isaac
Years ago
That's why it's a hypothetical post for advice without specifics of club/coach/player. If when presented info as Chewie has, the parent is still confident their position is correct, then the general gist of the advice may as well stand.
Anon
Years ago
Such a tough situation to be in. If your child is in division 3 or below, this is pretty normal. The coach will be in a tough place too - play kid too much people complain or try and make a point of not and kid is hurt. It's a tough balance. I always appreciate a parent willing to coach, it's such a tough gig. junior district basketball is amazing to be part of in many ways and exhausting in so many.
My best advice, see the bigger picture. Always give a coach and a situation time. If they are trying and genuinely trying to build something, a culture, a structure and are investing their time and best efforts into the entire team, give them time and space and sit back and be the parent stop trying to steer the ship so much. This is life, you have ups and downs, coaches who get you and coaches who don't. If your kid has big aspirations and the talent which may see them get there and this coach is bad and has no structure or plan, look to move at the end of the season... don't yank your kid out at the first tough hurdle, it teaches such a poor lesson to them.
Unfortunately parents will often think that their child is better than others in front of them. Sometimes its a positional need, a lesser player is in front based on needs, cant have all guards or all bigs. Its unfortunate but then based on that then leave to another club that has a need.
I want to acknowledge all those parents who get off their arse instead of whinging so players can play when there is a shortage of coaches. I also want to recognise many parent coaches who do manage the issues of having their son or daughter on the team and i fact can be harder on them than other players. Often parent coaches have a background and talent in the game so sometimes their child may actually be the best player on the team. Many parent coaches and child have an agreement of calling rhe parent coach or bytheir first name and the parent
Reminds them they are not their mom or dad at basketball. Many are very profession. So do not tar everyone with the same brush. Lastly you do not have to be a parent to have favourotes. Some coaches lack the maturity or experience to seperate their personal like of a players personality or an individual skill over what makes a good player for the team to be balanced and successful. Every player brings different talents. We have all seen coaches who allow some players to get away with poor play in specific skills or decisions without repremand when others are instantly punished. It is human nature parent or not and not everyone is good at being impartial and doing what is right for a team and the game at hand. This is up to the club and coaching director to observe, educate and monitor coaches to ensure the best interest of the team and players is at and hand and development to improve concerns is implemented. Education is the key. Before during and after, it must be continous lifelong learning.
True about above post, education is the key. Knowing how to spell when ranting is a prime example.
Red84
Years ago
Parents are a major source of supply of new coaches and many districts struggle to attract coaches at all. My 3 kids played in a number of teams where a parent was a coach. It is pretty common. By and large, the parent coach handled it quite well and were quite objective. Sometimes a problem can arise not so much due to favoritism but when a child is encouraged to make poor decisions on court, or play a sub-par isolation game, due to a coach lacking experience and knowledge.
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