Bo Hamburger
Years ago
New rule changes suggestion box
The world champs are on and that means all the FIBA heavies get to get together and do things like elect Australians to be FIBA president, and split up Serbia and Montenegro into Serbia OR Montenegro.
I'm guessing they also discuss rule changes. Knowing that they read this forum, let's give them some sensible and serious rule change ideas. I'll start:
- Collect every single possession arrow in the world, burn them in a symbolic bonfire and have convicted basketball drug takers (Mark Dickel, Rashard Tucker, et al) inhale the resulting smoke as their penalty. Then return to jump balls.
- To prevent Hack-A-Shaq type defense, teams who foul players who shoot less than 50% from the free throw line will be given a choice if this player is fouled and the resultant penalty is two shots (ie he was fouled in the act of shooting or his team was in the bonus). Their choice is: a) let the player take the shots or b) have the opposing team receive one point automatically, with no foul shots being taken. This puts them in a dilemma. Do they take the automatic one point hit, rather than run the risk that Shaq could hit two? Or do they gamble that Shaq will hit none?
- Dunks in women's games are worth 5.
- If guarding someone throwing the ball in, a defender is allowed to "dack" the inbounder if the inbounder is either a) a clown b) annoying or c) Damon Lowery.
- To reduce the amount of time consumed by time-outs in late-game situations (particularly if the score is close), games will now finish at three-quarter time.
- All professional basketball teams are required to install Godzillatrons in their stadiums for the high-def pleasure of spectators.
