Real Talk
Years ago
Real Talk: 36ers Bedroom or toilet?
The sixers past two season have been like nothing else in club history.
Sure at the end of the week you're sitting around the house bored and start thinking about going to the game. You get to the arena, see the team warming up on court and get excited. The excitement stays with you for the first quarter and a half of the second quarter but soon the mood starts to change. The feeling of joy subsides and as you watch DJ miss another open lay-up by throwing the ball into the bottom of the basket support you start to feel guilty. You feel ashamed, embarrassed and know if any of your friends knew what you were doing right now you would be humiliated. But you think, you’ve started so you might as well finish. By the end of the 4th the sixers lose by twenty and you have a serve case of self-hate going on. You swear never again will you attend a Marty Clarke coached game, but there you are again, the next week in the same spot hating yourself again.
And there is only one other activity in the world that gives you the same feeling of excitement, followed by guilt, anxiety, humiliation and self-hate and that’s....watching porn.
That’s right, Marty Clarke’s two years in charge of the sixers has been like one big porno....you know the type, the one that always finishes with the chick’s head in the toilet....let me explain why....
DJ is the male star who always disappoints....every time he goes inside he just goes soft.
Stephen Weigh is the male star who just dribbles all over the perimeter but never gets any penetration.
Mitch Creek is the young buck who gets everyone excited when he slams it in the hole with some force but then immediately after gets taken out of the scene by the director.
Darren Ng is the doctor who needs to inspect the patient with his....stethoscope
Chris Warren was the guy who couldn’t give an impactful performance like he should have as the director always had him in the wrong position.
Ron Howard was a guy who was bought in just to stand in the corner by the director and watch everyone else.
Wade Helliwell is the guy who is only in the picture due to his huge features despite the fact he has no other skills.
Jacob Holmes was the guy who didn’t live up to his name but is now putting in a big effort somewhere else.
Adam Ballinger was the very selfish lover, he was a very good at what he did but all he did was finish.
Of course if this was a gay version they would all be receiving as the whole squad allows a lot of penetration.
The big question is, what will next season bring? Will Cadee get deep penetration or be denied access? Will Luke Schenscher be big and strong down low or will he play the role of the big red clown who never gets to bang bodies?
Thoughts?
