Jack Toft
Years ago
NH: 50 Shades of Rubbish
My sister in law raved about this book and gave me her copy to read, so I thought "why not?".
I thought I should read it seeing as though everyone was going on about it being mummy porn and the like. I was expecting it to be pretty sexy and to contain some moves even I haven't tried before, but willing to give a go with a batman cape and a tube of KY. The warning signs were there when the reviews were along the lines of "I couldn't put the book down", instead of "It was a really wonderful book with a rich tapestry of characters and an interesting plot", but like mini me in Goldmember, I didn't quite catch on until it was too late and when you are halfway through a book you might as well go the distance. The fact it was written as fan fiction by a Twi-hard should have been a warning beacon of disaster like the Robe lighthouse.
The story is about a 'lusty love affair' between the two main characters, Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele, but there is no love in this book, only obsession, control, stalking, tracking, bullying and domination by a dysfunctional creepy weirdo with a domineering mother (hello Norman Bates) over a naive young girl. The sought of behaviour if you exhibited to a love interest in real life an AVO would be served and before you know it you’re sharing a cell with Bevan Spencer Von Eiman. Last time I had a lusty love affair was in 1986 and we did it where ever we could, including a pay phone booth at the Adelaide Casino. Their lusty love affair is manicured like the Adelaide Oval.
The writing style was atrocious. First person, present tense should be saved for memoirs of war heros and primary school essays. The characters are as paper thin as John Wayne's badguys and even the A Team had more complex plots. I guess the book(s) would appeal to those who are a little naïve in the ways of the world and who are looking for an escape from daytime TV, washing, cooking, ironing and vanilla sex once a week. It's basically a "journey of discovery" story.
My verdict ...…. GIVE ME BACK THE HOURS I WASTED READING THIS BOOK ! Fifty shades of rubbish.