sabre zone
Years ago

morale booster # 12

A player and his ever-nagging coach went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they
>were there, the coach passed away. The undertaker told the player, "You can
>have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy
>Land, for $150." The man thought about it and told him he would just have
>her shipped home.

The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your coach home,
when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only
$150?"


The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days
later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."



DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE


AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

Topic #9031 | Report this topic


billo  
Years ago

Did you change the word wife to coach in that first one or did the person before you do it?

Those anagrams were pretty good though, I've got 2 more:

Alec Guinness
Genuine Class

Jeremy Irons
Jeremy's Iron

Reply #101950 | Report this post


Sturty6ers  
Years ago

Two men talking at a bar and the first man said "You know my wife's an angel!"

The second man said "You're lucky mine is still alive!"

Reply #101954 | Report this post


Anonymous  
Years ago

OK, so two men are standing at the pearly gates and... umm how did that one go?

Anyway, turns out they were Siegfried and Roy. I'm no good at telling jokes...

Reply #101979 | Report this post


Anonymous  
Years ago

A horse walks into a bar. The bar tender says.....................

Reply #102053 | Report this post


Bo Hamburger  
Years ago

Billo,

how much effort did you make with that Jeremy Irons one?

It took me all afternoon, but I came up with a similar one for your name:

O, Bill

:)

Reply #102055 | Report this post


billo  
Years ago

Bo, it's a Simpson's reference, it's the best Lisa could come up with when the new smart girl's dad gives her a name to find an anagram for.

I believe I have risen to the challenge though and constructed this masterpiece:

Bo Hamburger

U R H-Bomb Rage

I've even managed to incorporate text speak that's so popular with the kids these days.

The bar has been risen.

Reply #102123 | Report this post


what the  
Years ago



The Gripe Sheet

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form about what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheet before the next flight. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by the pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.



P = The problem logged by the pilot.

S = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.



P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.



P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.



P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.



P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back order.



P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per second descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.



P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.



P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.



P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what they're there for.



P: IFF inoperative.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.



P: Suspected crack in windshield

S: Suspect you're right.



P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.



P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.



P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.



P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget.



By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

Reply #102124 | Report this post


Sturty6ers  
Years ago

Qantas don't have gripe sheets. That's an American Military term.

Reply #102127 | Report this post


Bo Hamburger  
Years ago

Billo,

Good job on risening the bar. I'd love to reciprocate, but I'm going to need you to supply with me a last name to make it a bit more interesting: five letters just isn't enough.

Or is it?

Signed,
Bo Ill.

Reply #102135 | Report this post


Anonymous  
Years ago

Reply #102171 | Report this post


Dribbler  
Years ago

Sabre zone & What the ..PRICELESS

Reply #102241 | Report this post


billo  
Years ago

Nice work, you certainly are licenced to Ill, Bo.

Reply #102249 | Report this post




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