Bo Hamburger
Years ago

HG Nelson's blueprint for Oz basketball

Got around last night to reading last Saturday's Age and found this.

It's HG Nelson's piece on how to save basketball in this country, and is pretty entertaining.

Some of his ideas:

- The CSIRO needs to be involved in a gene-shear breeding program that nips in the bud the gene that prevents continuous growth. The tallest man in the world, Bao Xishun, is 236 centimetres tall but surely the CSIRO can do better than that! Let us crash the 305-centimetre barrier by 2021.

- Introduce Hoops of Fire. This simple idea gives the game a whole new dimension. The Hoop is turned into a flaming gas-powered scoring circle spurting out colourful flames randomly throughout a match. These flame-offs are triggered by officials tasked with giving both teams an equal crack at the heat. Score in flame-time and your team's total score is doubled.

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TP  
Years ago

Flame-time. Thats fantastic. Bringing NBA Jam to life!

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Isaac  
Years ago

On court hot spots. Enough said.

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Paul  
Years ago

naked cheerleaders would work

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skip  
Years ago

Isaac - Surely couldnt be to hard. Arent they putting in a new court anyway? Make a few squares of disco floor on the court with different coloured lights for the amount of points.

Im thinking about this too much.

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Sween  
Years ago

I want decent clones!!! Jordan clone, Rodman Clone - this one comes with his own fire. All we get is dolly the sheep wanna be's.

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mark  
Years ago

"Get rid of the shot clock. Players should not take hours to have a ping. Instead, the ball should explode when the time is up, leaving coloured paint all over the player who would then wear their own stupidity for the rest of the game."

lol, that would be pretty damn entertaining if they could find some way to do it for the allstar game.

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Isaac  
Years ago

Maybe the ball could explode when anyone tries to jack up a three in the NBL All Star game? Everyone say goodbye to Tony Ronaldson now...

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