Thats all good and fair Stephon (and I am one of those umpires who use the "why dont you ref then" line...because people like to tell us how to do our jobs, and my reaction is along the lines of, if you know my job so well, why aren;t you doing it??)
....you say it's about communication, correct. But that's a 2 way street. If a coach, or a player asks me quietly and respectfully (which is the actual wording of the rule in relation to speaking to a ref) why I made, or did not make a certain call, I will be happy to explain, if not then and there, certainly at a suitable break in the game. If they want to get in my face, and yell at me, yes, you can expect to be teched.
I am in no ways a great ref, and I know my short comings, and train my mind to try and overcome them. I beleive I am a decent, average grade ref, capable of handling pretty much any social, and most junior level district games. My speed isn't the greatest because of my weight problems (hey..lost 17 kgs in 3 months and still losing...I might be back sooner than what I thought!!).
Refs get paid sweet FA (we get basically a "petrol allowance") and give up their time to ref. Sure, you say the associations shouldnt accept the money....what would you be doing/saying if you rocked up to your stadium on a cold, wet, windy July night, for a 10.10pm game...only to be told "sorry, we dont have any refs, we have cancelled your game".....hmmmm....abuse to to door keeper instead. And dont use the "they should have known earlier and rang us"....a ref may have been injured before hand (who was programmed to do your game solo)...and there is just no one else.
Anyway...enough ramblings....I think we have done all this before on other threads.
(By the way, any UIC's or anything needing to boost up their ranks, give me an email ;) )