Friday Avo Boredom
Years ago

Favourite Seinfeld Quotes/Episodes

I know it's only Friday morning at the moment but seeing as it's a long weekend I thought I'd get an early start.

George is my favourite character. I still love the "These pretzels are making me thirsty" episode where George is going crazy trying to park cars.

Also love when he pretends to be a marine bioligist:

"The sea was angry that day my friends, like and old man trying to send back soup at a deli"

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Years ago

Kramer ( after Jerry and Elaine realise that he's not wearing any underwear )

" I'm out there Jerry and loving every minute of it "

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Years ago

I love Seinfeld, but one of my favourite little details about the show is the recurring aliases the guys use. My spelling is probably way off, sorry&

Kramer  Professor Van Nostren (usually smokes a pipe) and sometimes goes by the name Pennypacker I think (?)

George  Art Vandalay (usually an architect)

Jerry  I'm not sure what his alias is, it sounds like Varnstein.

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Years ago

Got to agree, George is my fave too. The Soup Nazi episode is hard to go past, but one of my personal favourites is when Jerry gets a cleaner in his house who steals his statue, and Kramer goes to get it back.

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Years ago

George when he is dividing up the split of the meal 7, 7 and points to himself 6 lol classic

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Years ago

Favourite episode is when Kramer helps Mickey at an acting audition..absolutely steels the scene from Mickey in those skin tight jeans....pure gold Jerry.

Mind you everything he did in that show was Pure gold

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Lloyd Braun  
Years ago

"serinity now, insanity later"

Lloyd Braun

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I was wondering how long it would be before Lloyd posted!

"Am I crazy or is that a lot of gum!"

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Years ago

Without any doubt my favourite episode is
The Contest - Jerry, George, Kramer and Elaine make a bet to see who can go the longest as "The Master of their Domain"

George wins but we find out in the last episode he cheated.

Also really like the backwards episode as well. It was very clever. Done in the similar vain to the film Memento.

Giddy Up!

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Kenny Banya  
Years ago

"why do they call it ovaltine? the mug is round, the jar is round, why dont they call it roundtine?"

thats gold Jerry gold!

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Years ago

Jerry: The answering machine is like a relationship barometer.
George: What IS a barometer?
Kramer: It's pronounced thermometer.

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Years ago

I was a fan of Goerge's answering machine message.

Singing....."Believe it or not Goerge isn't at home....."

That's GOLD Jerry!!!

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D Brent  
Years ago


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Years ago

Kramer and Georges father who develop the worlds first Mens Bra. Georges dad calls it the Manzere but Kramer comes with the BRO.

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Years ago

I love 'The Opposite' when George realises that every decision and instinct he's ever had has been wrong!!

Also love the 'Marine Biologist'. Especially the side story about Jerry's t-shirt Golden Boy. "You wanna borrow Golden Boy?!!"

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Years ago

George's dad and Kramer playing pool in that small room - that's funny stuff.

You can usually catch back-to-back Seinfeld episodes on the weekend during the day - can't remember if it's Saturday or Sunday though.

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D Brent  
Years ago

Another point for Milosh!!

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D Brent  
Years ago

sorry timmy...i dont dip that way.

bear in mind i am in the smaller office..

(oh man, this could go on forever!!)

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Years ago

Elaines 'dancing'

Enough said !

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Years ago

"Giddy up" any episode.

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Years ago

"Your not Pensky material"

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Years ago

"gotta support the team" puddy

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Bob Knight  
Years ago

When George yells at Kramer to answer the phone with "Vandalay Industries".

He runs out with his pants down then falls over. Jerry then walks in and says "And you want to be my latex salesman!"

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Years ago

golden boys blue

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Years ago

"its all pipes!!"

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Years ago

"Independent George and Relationship George can never meet!"

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Years ago

"no more soup for you !!"

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Years ago

"50 thousand yen? There practicly given em away" Kramer to Japanese friends regarding cowboy hats.

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Years ago

"not that there's anything wrong with that" has worked its way into pop culture.

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Years ago

"I choose NOT to run!"

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Years ago

"You wanna know somthing? Ask the eightball" Puddy, pointing to the back of his new jacket.

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Years ago

i loved the Indian Giver episode too , where Jerry was trying so hard to be PC around his native-american GF.

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Years ago

The ep where Jerry forgets his girlfriend's name. I swear I've watched that four times and still can't remember if her name turns out to be Delores or Mulva or what?! Ironic!

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Blue Collar  
Years ago

My favourite episode is the one where we meet Jimmy. He always refers to himself in the third person...

Jimmy: "Oh No! Jimmy's Down... Jimmy's going to get you for this Kramer... Jimmy holds GRUDGES!!!"

HAHAHA Classic

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Years ago

"What, you think I never rode in a Cadillac before?"

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Years ago

It's Delores Isaac - rhymes with c***oris.

My favourite episode is one in the last series where they are all doing that stupid voice.

"Hellooooooo, la la la"

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Karch Karai  
Years ago

"George, the ocean called and said they are running out of shrimp"

"Well the jerk store called and said they are running out of you"

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Years ago

George: "Who invaded Spain in the 8th century?"
Bubble boy:"the Moors",
George: "but the question card says "the Moops"

Jerry- he lives in a bubble?!...

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Years ago

i liked 'The Great Samaritan" episode. Classic!

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Years ago

Jackie Chiles (Kramer's lawyer) quotes:

"A pow-wow? Who told you to have a pow-wow? I didn't tell you to have pow-wow"

"It's outragous, preposterous"

"That's totally inappropriate. It's lewd, vesivius, salacious, outrageous!"

"You put the balm on? Who told you to put the balm on? I didn't tell you to put the balm on. Why'd you put the balm on? You haven't even been to see the doctor. If your gonna put a balm on, let a doctor put a balm on."

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Years ago

The episode where they are on vacation and george is getting changed in the bedroom when Jerry's girlfriend at the time walks in on him getting changed...George cries "I WAS IN THE POOL, I WAS IN THE POOL" as a victim of shrinkage lmao!

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Graeme LeBroy  
Years ago

Ahhhhh all comedy gold!

Golden Boy, The opposite, Marine Biologist, the Junior Mint... the list goes on!

I can't wait for the rest of them all to come out on DVD in Australia!

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Years ago

"Jerry, it's Frank, George is dead, call me back!" Frank Constanza

"Miss Wilkey, your tobacco company has turned this beautiful specimen into a horrible, twisted freak" Jackie Childs

I liked the Festivus Idea of the Airing of Grievances.

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Years ago

"Well that was almost a sentence"

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Years ago

Some of my favourites from minor characters

"Crazy" Joe Devola - Putting the "kibosh" on Jerry in an answering machine message by saying "I've kiboshed before, and I'll kibosh again" ("The Opera", Season 4).

Jackie Chiles - Describing Sue Ellen Mischke's actions of walking down the street in her bra as "lewd, lascivious, salacious, outrageous!" ("The Caddy, Season 7).

Kenny Bania - The line "That's gold, Jerry! Gold!" ("The Fatigues", Season 8).

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Years ago

With the aliases, it's usually:

Kramer - Dr. Martin Van Nostrand, although on one occasion ("The Puerto Rican Day", Season 9) he was known as H.E. Pennypacker, using the classic introduction to a real estate agent "I'm, uh, H.E. Pennypacker. I'm a wealthy industrialist and philanthropist and, uh, a bicyclist."

George - Art Vandelay, usually an architect, also used as a decoy boyfriend for Elaine (He's an importer/exporter"), and as the king of latex ("Vandelay Industries").

Jerry - Kel Varnson

A classic encounter between all the aliases happened in "The Puerto Rican Day":

Estate Agent: Mr. Pennypacker, this is Mr. Vandelay, And you know Mr. Varnsen

Kramer: Uh, Varnsen.

Jerry: Pennypacker.

Kramer: Vandelay.

George: Pennypacker. Varnsen.

Jerry: Vandelay. Wait a second. Mr. Pennypacker, if you're here, and Mr. Vandelay is also here, then who's watching the factory?

Kramer: The factory?

Jerry: The Saab factory?

Kramer: Jerry, that's in Sweden.

Seinfeld is definitely my favourite show ever.

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Sid Farcus  
Years ago

Some other awesome Seinfeld eps:

The Boyfriemd:
Undoubtably the greatest episode in my view (although it goes over two episodes technically)! Jerry sparksd up a friendship with ex-Mets player Keith Hernandez a sporting idol of his. Keith shows an interest in Elaine in which Jerry strangely is jealous. Also, includes the Kramer and Newman spitting montage in the JFK vein.

ELAINE: Just ask him if he wants a to get together.

JERRY: For what dinner?

ELAINE: Dinner's good.

JERRY: Don't you think that's coming on a little too strong? .. Isn't that like
a turn off?

ELAINE: Jerry, He's A GUY!

The Pony Remark:
Features Jerry's remark to Aunt Manya about his hatred for kids with ponies, gets her all upset at her dinner.
JERRY: I know, I hated those kids. In fact, I hate anyone that ever had a pony when they were growing up.
MANYA: ..I had a pony.
Shortly later she passes away and Jerry feels responsobles so mkuch so he ditches his softball team to go to her funeral. Thankfully rain puts the game on hold next week, in which Jerry plays the worst game of his life in:
ERRY: You think Manya showed up during the game and put a hex on me?
ELAINE: I never saw anyone play like that.
JERRY: But I went to the funeral.
ELAINE: Yeah, but that doesn't make up for killing her.

The Librarian:
One of my all time favourite Seinfeld cameos by Lt Bookman. Also features George's Atomic Wedgie and the infamous "Can  stand-ya" heckle on george. Here's some of the best lines from Bookman's monologue to Jerry:
"Hll, let me tell you something, funny boy. Y'know that little stamp,the one that says "New York Public Library"? Well that may not meananything to you, but that means a lot to me&.Maybe we can live withoutlibraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to changethe world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, rightnow, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-peesand wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers?Doesn't HE deserve better&.This is about thatkid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped! Or: maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld; maybe that's how y'get your kicks. You and your good-time buddies. Well I got a flash for ya, joy-boy: Party timeis over. Y'got seven days, Seinfeld"
The contest:
Features the funniest "abstinence" competition, with cameos from Fraser's Jane Leeves as the "Virgin" (carrying on from the previous episeode) and JFK Jnr (although you never see "John John")
GEORGE: First she screams, "George, what are you doing?! My God!" And it looked like she was gonna faint - she started clutching the wall, trying to hang onto it.
KRMAER: (Reflecting on the story so far) Man..
GEORGE: I didn't know whether to try and keep her from falling, or zip up.
JERRY: What did you do?
GEORGE: I zipped up!
ELAINE: (Wide-eyed) So, she fell?
GEORGE: Yeah. (Noticing this makes him out to be the bad kid, he gets defensive) Well, I couldn't run over there the way I was!
Other Great ones that have already been mentioned:
- The Marine Bioligist
- The Serentiy Now
- The YAda Yada
- The Bizarro Jerry
- The Junior Mint

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Matt Ryan  
Years ago

"Look to the cookie!"

"Not that there's anything wrong with that!"

"Hello Newmann"

"Giddy Up"


"Gotta loooooove The Drake"

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Years ago

George's mum after catching him doing his thing...
" I go out for a quart of milk, I come home and I find my son treating his body like an amusemnent park"

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Years ago

"You're breaking up?"
Kramer: "Oh yeah! The sooner the better. I can't wait to do it. You know how there's some people you worry about whether or not you're gonna hurt their feelings? With her, I'm looking forward to it. Boy, I'd like to get it on video. Watch it in slow motion and freeze frame it!"

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Years ago

JUMBALAYA - newman

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Years ago

you mean the libaryians name is bookmen?

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Years ago

cant stands ya

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Years ago

I'm gonna slip him a micky

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Years ago

Very very bad man Jerry

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